The menstrual cycle.

I’m not sure why we don’t talk about periods when most women, trans, non-binary and intersex folks have them. I mention here not just women as I want society to be aware but, in my blog, I can only talk about what I as a woman have experienced having periods. Periods are nothing to be ashamed of as most of us have to go through this in order to have our own biological ‘children’. This is a beautiful thing as it’s bringing life into this world. However when you have a vice-principal, a lady herself saying to her students that :'Learning to deal with monthly inconvenience is all part of being a woman, I’m afraid … unfortunately taking that time off is not how society works.” Maybe that's why we feel we can't speak about what we go through each month in fear of being mocked or dismissed. I started at 11 years old and it was not pleasant as I fainted a few times that year in school due to heavy bleeding and ended up in hospital once, but the doctors didn’t take it seriously. It was always, ‘she will grow out of it’ or ‘once she has children it will sort itself out’. The only professional who supported me and took it seriously was my wonderful GP. My mum as ever was always supportive. I didn’t have monthly periods - they would come at short notice, usually every two weeks, sometimes after a few days - and last for about 10 days if I was ‘lucky’! My breasts were tender, I had backache, I was drained and exhausted, had bad cramps, greasy hair and it affected my daily activities. My friends always knew when I was ‘on’ as I looked pale and tired. I didn’t like going out or on holiday when I was on my periods as I had to go to the bathroom every hour or 2 hours to change my ‘maternity’ sanitary towel. If I sat down even for 5 minutes and had to get up, I would need to ‘run’ to the bathroom – literally, I would pass blood clots and if I didn’t get to the bathroom, I would bleed through to my clothes. When on holiday I had to check and pray that there was a toilet bin and loads of tissue (I would go through about 6 rolls daily) and I was worried at night that I would bleed through on the bedding as it was not my home. When out, I would hope the toilet was clean for me to use. I was often anaemic. My GP gave a cocktail of medicines to help with the pain. They were so strong that I got 7 ulcers in my stomach and was admitted to hospital for it. When I had my period and I was at work, I would get a 15-minute tea break, but by the time I went to the toilet, it was my 15 minutes, sometimes more. I knew from the outset I wanted a hysterectomy as periods were affecting my day-to-day living. My mum had endometriosis and a hysterectomy at the age of 35, so the doctors said I probably had the same thing. I remember asking in my twenties and in my thirties, my mum and GP supported me in this, but the doctors always said no – I would need to have my own children. At the age of 36 I asked again and this time it was a female doctor. She wanted to be sure I was 100% sure I didn’t want ‘children’. I had Layla but to most of society this does ‘not count’ as I have adopted her. I said yes, I knew it in my twenties and my decision still stood. She agreed and I had to sign something to say it was my decision. To this day I have never regretted it and I am so glad I had it. Yet, going through what I did, I felt so alone as periods are seen as a ‘women’s’ thing that we go through, but it really does affect us, and we shouldn’t have to feel alone.